Azalea Trees and Tea Rooms

I remember the special-ness and sweet-nesses of rocking my Joshua at night…the smell of him (all of it…even his breath)…he would say, “Mommy, rock-a-me” and I would oblige with all of my heart. “Singing Jesus Loves Me” and a song I made up for him that goes likes this: “Mommy loves you Joshua, Mommy loves you Baby boy, Mommy loves you Joshua! Joshua, Joshua, sweet baby boy.” The song continues with Daddy loves you and then Jesus….in the stillness of evening….after the busyness of the day….I held a wee bit of Heaven in my arms…somehow my heart, so wooed by the Holy Spirit Himself, understood Solomon’s words, “Life is a vapor” and I clung to Joshua…breathed him in….and let the “irritation and exhaustion” evaporate before the moment did. Solomon was right, I found, and now my Joshua is a man…making man decisions in a much crazier world than I had hoped for him….and, so, the moments, laughter, tears, boo-boos, first fist-gripped weeds of adoration, first words, first haircuts, first refrigerator pictures, first lost teeth…they are securely locked away with the key of gratefulness…grateful that God entrusted me with that little soul in the first place. So, now, I get the grand privilege of storing away new memories…those of earthly value and most importantly those of eternal value — his Salvation (I am so thankful he came to Christ early in his life), his surrendering to full-time ministry, watching him serve the Lord…here and in China….studying him, as he begins to seek God on a future wife. As mothers, aren’t we blessed to have a special lens to view our children with? We have a God given, special capacity, to see our children’s souls, I believe….when the day is done…when the babies are fast asleep, when the dishes have all been tucked away in the cupboard, when the toys have been picked up and we…when we are at full capacity….God refreshes us with Himself….His tenderness toward us moms….because He knows we are exhausted and at full capacity…He then allows us to “Be still and rest in Him” because He knows He gave us the most difficult and special job assigned on earth and that is to prepare little souls for His Kingdom! What a blessing! Thank you, Father! I pray, sweet Momma, that you awoke this morning feeling a new energy for your day and those precious, little souls that you get the grand privilege of cultivating!

It is so easy to get caught up in all that is happening around us at any given time.  It is also very easy to get up on my high horse, puff up, and act like I am the only one right in regard to my passions.  It is quite easy to lose sight of my purpose on earth and why God created me in the first place.  However, when I go back to God’s Word and listen to His voice, my purpose and passion begin agreeing with one another, as they should…as they must.

MY PURPOSE

Isaiah 43:7 Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.

I was simply created for His glory…the sovereign God of the universe created me to bring Him glory!

He did not create me to be an activist or crusader for my own cause or causes.  While these things are important to me, they do not reflect God’s purpose for me.  Solomon put it this way in Ecclesiastes 12:13 and 14:

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

Solomon is pretty straightforward in what our purpose should be, don’t you think?  My purpose is, according to Isaiah and Solomon, to:

1. Glorify God
2. Fear God
3. Keep God’s Commandments

So, in all I do, my actions, words, and deeds should align with these three directives IN.ALL.THINGS….even if the world doesn’t like what I am doing…even if they appear politically incorrect, even if they appear “unloving” by the world’s standards, and even if they offend.  Because, as Solomon states, God will bring every deed into judgment…every secret thing….whether good or evil.

That is very sobering to me!

I am all about God’s mercy and grace — so undeserved and unmerited —yet so often abused.  We have forgotten (or we simply choose to ignore) that God is also a righteous judge….that He has been holding back His wrath, and that He will, eventually, finally, and completely annihilate sin…forever.  So, this brings me to my passion.

My Passion

This is so straightforward and cut and dried that I cannot help but pay close attention to it.

My passions, quite simply, should always align with the Word of God…let me repeat that:

MY PASSIONS SHOULD ALWAYS ALIGN WITH GOD’S WORD

That means ALL that I do must agree with God’s nature, God’s plan, and God’s agenda.  Jesus gave us His last command in Mark 16:15 and 16:

Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.  Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

Telling others about salvation…Jesus….that should be my passion…period.

I was not put here to be passionate about politics, gay rights, transgender restrooms, environmental issues, sports teams, and the like.  While these things touch my life and I interact with them personally or through family members or friends, they should not interfere with my purpose or passion, as given to me by God.

I must remember that Satan’s purpose and passion is to seek and destroy me!  As a Believer, if Satan can distract me from my purpose and passion, have me championing for sin and not obedience for Christ, he can grind me down to the point where I start losing my purpose and passion for God.  I must not get distracted —

My passion is to love God with all of my heart, mind, and soul — to obey Him, at any costs, and then to tell others of His great redemption and forgiveness of sins, so they too can receive eternal life.

I do not want to stand before God and He say:

Tameasa, you were more concerned that you would hurt their feelings than giving them the key to eternal life found only in ME.

So, often, people will find fault when you call out people’s sins — but if they would only remember that we are calling them out to save them from eternal damnation.

I pray that you realize your purpose and passion found only in the Person of Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith.

Sooner slipped quietly out of his nest, as the sun rose over Jerusalem that early Good Friday and mounted up with his young eagle wings through the glorious, brisk breeze.  His wings carried him high and far over those beautiful hills — the sky as blue and clear as a sapphire.

Sooner hoped that, if he arose early enough, he might catch another glimpse of the Man who rode into Jerusalem a week ago on that colt.  He was curious about this Man the people praised, as he rode in — waving their palm branches and shouting, “Hosana!”  He appeared, as though royal…yet, on a colt?  Who was He?  Sooner had to know.

So, he searched the city far and wide gliding on his new wings — he barely believed they could carry him out, peaceful soaring — he hardly could believe they would work when his Momma pushed him out the nest.  Oh, the experience was harrowing as he fell endlessly that first time — but Momma swooped in and caught him and carried him back to the nest.  She patiently and lovingly told him, “Tomorrow will go much easier for you Sooner, you’ll see!”  Then, Sooner cried to her, “Momma, I’m so frightened!  Why can I not just stay here with you?”

Momma looked sweetly on Sooner, her only boy in the whole clutch — she knew he would be great one day and she rested all of her hopes in him.  She soothingly said to Sooner, “Boy, God has a big plan for your life and  you must spread those wings and fly to His bidding…do not fear the plans He has for you.”

He continued to soar looking for this royal Man to see Him again. Almost out of no where, he heard a sound that was whizzing and slapping so he flew in that direction.  What he found there ripped through his heart and it pained him — a pain he had never experienced before — it was the royal Man — but he was being beaten by the Roman soldiers.

There was so much blood, so much pain and Sooner did not understand what this man could have done — One so welcomed and praised only a week ago — what could this be?  Sooner found a perch, high above the court yard of Pilate’s palace, and with great grief watched, as the soldiers beat and ridiculed this man they kept calling Jesus.  The whip would come down and drag across his body and this Jesus would cry out in pain from each lash.  How could this be?  After what seemed like hours of beating, they began mocking Him, spitting on Him, and pulling on His beard — plucking out His whiskers — His face was bleeding and swollen — and when Sooner thought they would show Him some mercy, another soldier walked over and placed a crown on Jesus’ head with the same briary thorns his mother told him to avoid when hunting prey — for they were very long and sharp and if they pierced his chest, he would certainly die.

The soldier placed it on this Jesus’ head and pressed down, as hard and deep in His skull — more blood — more pain.  Then they found a purple robe and placed it on His shoulders and walked around bowing and mocking — calling Him the King of the Jews!  As if it all weren’t enough, they led Jesus off to a crowd — the people of the town — and stood Jesus before them — flaunting their King.  They rejected it — they said, “He is not our King — Caesar is our King!”  Then Pilate walked out and stared at the crowd — amazed at their insolence and distaste for the one they praised a week ago.

With a nod from Pilate, Sooner saw the soldiers bring another man out and Pilate shouted, “Today I will release one — whom shall you choose?  Here is Jesus — here is Barabbas — whom shall I release to you?”  The crowd roared loudly, “Give us Barabbas! Give us Barabbas!”  So, Pilate asked them, “What shall I do then with your King, Jesus?”  And, they exploded, “Crucify Him!”  Pilate was perplexed — for even he knew Barabbas was a murderer.  Pilate walked to a basin of water and washed his hands and said, “I will not bear this on me — it is on you.”

The soldiers then took a long wooden beam and thrust it on Jesus’ back and led Him out of the palace.  Sooner leaped from his perch and flew over-head to see where they were taking Jesus.  He followed closely, as Jesus struggled with each step along the path to the Place of the Skull, Sooner’s mother had told him about.  When they reached the top, they ripped that purple robe off of His back and the wounds tore and Jesus cried out in such pain.  They laid Him on the earth and to Sooner’s horror, they began nailing Him to that tree — His hands, His feat — and their He hung and Sooner flew to the cross beam and cried.

Jesus died that day — the King of the Jews — the promised Messiah.  Sooner understood that it was for the sins of the people that this Royal Blood was spilled — Jesus their Savior.

Sooner stayed with Him until He arose three days later — and, as Jesus ascended to Sooner’s Creator, His Father — Sooner laid down and died.

For the past few days, the Lord has been teaching me about the concept of abiding.  This is not a new thought for me, but most certainly a new lesson.

Saturday night, after being wounded by someone I love, I got in my car and drove over 300 miles to another state, Georgia.  Why?  I was fleeing — getting out of dodge —- taking my wounded soul to another land.  I wasn’t running to something, nor was I in the true sense running from something — I was simply fleeing.

Fleeing a hurt heart … fleeing perceived judgment … fleeing confrontation … fleeing humiliation.  However, in my flight, I was running into the unknown and danger — I was fleeing the safety of my husband (who is my covering) and running directly into the snare of the Evil One of this world.  I had no plan, no provision, no destination, and no restraint … I just wanted escape.

During that long drive, my dear husband kept calling, my son kept calling, and I reached out to a stabilizing friend in Virginia.  Deciding to lean on their wisdom, instead of my own, I eventually set my car back into a southerly course and instead of crying, I began praying.

Around three in the morning, I arrived home and began stilling my soul and seeking Him … a prodigal of sorts needing her Father.  In the stilling, God began working on my heart in two ways:

Forgiveness — my first response to the one who hurt me should have been forgiveness — immediate and sincere forgiveness.  In my delay, I allowed Satan to continue to magnifying the hurt; and in that magnification, my response was sinful and destructive.  Satan thrives on derailing us, destroying us, and pulling us from HE who loves us…in any way he can.  Peter reminds of this in his first epistle:

1 Peter 5:8  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:9  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
1 Peter 5:10  And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you

Therefore, my first and only response should have been immediate forgiveness, understanding the snare of Satan and his deceit.

Yet, God did not stop with forgiveness…He then started teaching me more about abiding.

Abiding — instead of fleeing the hurt, deception, and pain I should have immediately settled my soul to abide in Him.  The Greek word for this abiding is hupomeno which means to stand fast or persevere.  The prefix hupo (under, as in under the rule or sovereignty of someone) and meno (to remain) fit very well with the instruction I needed.

I needed to recognize that, in giving the Lord reign of my life, I need to trust His sovereignty over my life…even when I feel someone has hurt me unjustly.  When I trust His sovereignty, I then need to willingly (deliberately) remain — be still — even when it is painful physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Psalm 91 assures me of the benefits of abiding, instead of fleeing:

Psalm 91:1  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:2  I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Psalm 91:3  For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
Psalm 91:4  He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

I love the words the psalmist uses that encapsulate abiding — dwell, refuge, fortress! Instead of heeding this promise of refuge, I ran straight into the snare of Satan — I left the refuge and fortress of His faithfulness, when He longed for me to abide — to stand fast — to persevere.

I am thankful for the encouragement and prayers of those who knew I was running — these prayers brought me quickly back under His wings — that sure and faithful refuge.

I pray that this has taught me the value of forgiving and abiding — that the next time Satan sets a snare for me, I will immediately and obediently forgive and abide.  There will be a next time —so, I abide in His faithfulness that is a shield and a buckler.