Azalea Trees and Tea Rooms

There are times when life takes us on a long detour and we find ourselves in a dry valley that we’ve not known before…or maybe we have been in that valley too many times. Have you ever found yourself there and wondered why this is happening to you? I have so many times. In fact, I’ve been in a dry foreign valley for a while.

I’ve thought often about David, as he laments to God. His cries, like mine, come from deep within where sorrow consumes and emptiness is vast like that dry and foreign valley. David cried out in Psalm 102,

“For my days have been consumed in smoke, And my bones have been scorched like a hearth. My heart has been smitten like grass and has withered away, Indeed, I forget to eat my bread. Because of the loudness of my groaning My bones cling to my flesh.” (Psalms 102:3-5)

Where David says that his days are consumed, the Hebrew word used for this is,
kâlâh כָּלָה (pronounced kaw-law’), which is destroy (utterly). David is not being overly dramatic here. It is his spirit that makes these groanings to God. This type of groaning is mentioned in the New Testament as well. Jesus said,

“Then He *said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” (Matthew 26:38)

Jesus understood that this next part was going to be hard. He understood it so well that He grieved it to the point of death. Gethsemane means “olive press” and Jesus was pressed so hard that His sweat was like drops of blood. Can you or I say that we’ve ever been in that valley? I cannot. However, that is not to diminish the very agony we face in the valleys we sojourn.

Suffering and valleys are a reality for us all. Our journeys in the valley may be completely different, but they are valleys of sorrow nonetheless. We are not immune to them and will not be until we have completed our sojourn on this earth.

But, God’s Word gives us the very sustenance we need to make those valleys a bit sweeter. We need not go any further back than to David when he said,

“You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call; This I know, that God is for me”. (Psalms 56:8-9) And, “Your vows are binding upon me, O God; I will render thank offerings to You. For You have delivered my soul from death, Indeed my feet from stumbling, So that I may walk before God In the light of the living.” (Psalms 56:12-13)

David understood that which we always forget and that is the God who sees him takes account of his wanderings. We might feel so very lost in the valley, oh but He knows exactly where we are and teaches us that we can cry out to Him in all of our pain and wanderings.

Would that I could see God when I am wandering. Yet, David saw it once he had stopped lamenting his pain. Once his lamenting (or complaining) was over, he would praise the Lord. I cannot help but think how much joy there must have been in those moments of praise. I researched synonyms for joy in the planning of this simple blog. One synonym jumped out at me quite boldly and it was “crow.” What does crowing have to do with joy?? As I pondered that thought, I remembered the Crows that hang out in a tree near my home. There must be more than a hundred in that old White Oak Tree. They have found refuge there during the hot and humid Florida summers.

Every now and again something prompts all of them, at the same time, out of that tree. When that happens you hear their lovely, crowing voices. They are loud and all in unison. What in the world do they have to crow about all of a sudden? So, I thought that it might just be that their crows are exalted joy to their Creator.

Oh, that it would be me in the valley when I realize that God sees my wanderings and that I can find refuge in Him. Oh, that I would crow my praises loudly to Him and about Him. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4) If I were to translate that verse, it would read, “Crow in the Lord always; again I will say, crow!”

Dear friend — take refuge in Him when the valley is destitute and unforgiving. Take refuge in that He sees your wanderings. Take refuge in Him and crow loudly in praise to Him. You will then find that you can now rest in His refuge much like those Crows do in that old White Oak Tree. Crow loudly and often.

Soli Deo Gloria

My eyes leaked ever so quietly, as tears splashed down in ripples of sad exhalation. They were so unexpected and I tried to catch them in an old handkerchief covered in flowers. The flowers were very unappreciative and didn’t need them in the first place. No one even noticed the tears, the ripples, or that old handkerchief.

Pain and grief and anguish are like that, reckon? It exposes that which we do not want to share…hidden and folded up in a cotton handkerchief…stuffed deep into our apron pockets. Ah, safe right there along with some clothespins, some wilted weeds masquerading as flowers…given in a chubby, little hand, and a Hotwheel that is missing one of its wheels…with the promise to repair it soon.

No sooner had that handkerchief been tucked away that the dog runs in covered with mud and messing up the newly washed floor. My husband wasn’t trekking too far behind yelling that the dog had turned up all of his cabbages whilst chasing a Jack Rabbit who had been happily snacking on those lovely green leaves. I just spin around and hide both my frustration and exhaustion to only see a pot boiling over on the stove.

Our hearts can be laid wide open by such days that rifle through our emotions. I recall quickly the account of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42, when Jesus came into their village,

“Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

Dear Martha was quite overcome to take care of her guests, as she flitted from one task to the next. In her frustration with her sister, Mary, she complained sorely to the Lord even asking Him if He cared that Mary wasn’t helping. He didn’t immediately rebuke Martha, but He recognized that He could see all the worry and bother and frustration she felt. He validated it so patiently, but then He softly rebuked her. She was so focused on being a stellar hostess rather than sitting and enjoying her guests and learning from what the Lord was teaching.

Oh, how I hear Martha’s heart for I can be exactly the same. When I am preparing for guests to visit, I fret over every, small detail. This happened to me today, as I am preparing the Thanksgiving meal for when my son will be visiting on Monday. My heart had just set aside the loneliness from my husband and me being alone on Thanksgiving Day, but now it was overcome with so many things I had yet to do. As I was finishing up the Deviled Eggs, I put some Paprika in a sieve so that I could spread it evenly atop the eggs. No sooner had I started, when the sieve slipped from my hand, and Paprika went everywhere. Some of the eggs had too much and others none. I just started crying and telling my husband that I had ruined them. He came over to me and started hugging me and said, “Sweetheart — you put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Don’t fret over such things…the eggs will be wonderful.” I cried more and declared what an idiot I am. He said, “Oh, no, not one ounce of you is an idiot. You just expect more from yourself than you would expect of others.”

Martha and I would have been such good friends, but I would have enjoyed Mary’s friendship too. As women, we have a little bit of both ladies. It is very important that, no matter our trial, we learn to slow down and expect things to not always be perfect and when they are not, remember Jesus’ counsel to Martha. We must make sure that our minds and hearts are set on the important things or the “good parts,” and that would be Jesus.

I pray that as Christmas approaches you find the time to sit at Jesus’ feet and learn from Him. In the process of slowing it down, you will find your family more relaxed too. Our heartaches bleed into our families lives, and, so we must do all to perform an immediate triage on ourselves, regroup, and start again. Set aside all of the other worries. Give that present to yourself now and in turn, you will be giving it to your family.

Hosana, He is Come! May all of your holidays permeate the sweet aroma of Christ. Do it all for His glory and as a witness to Him.

Soli Deo Gloria

This season of joy and love and gathering brings back a flood-gate of memories for me. It brings back a kindred-ness that has moved into a world evaporated only into recollections. The anamnesis of which brings both joy and sadness for me.

I remember when I was a little girl and the first snow would fall that I would stand outside and catch the snowflakes on my tongue and try to count them. It truly was a futile endeavor, but try I did nonetheless. My cheeks would become crimson, as I pointed my chubby, little face toward the sky. All I could hear was the pat-pat-pat of the snowflakes hitting the ground making layer upon layer of beauty. It was new and welcomed. I would be nearly frozen when Momma would call me into the house.

After I had removed the many layers meant to protect me, Momma would place a mug of her homemade, hot chocolate in front of me. It felt so warm against my hands that had only been layered with socks because we didn’t have mittens. As I lifted it toward my cherry, cold lips, I could smell the aroma of love and warmth and sweetness.

As I glance into the snowglobe of my reminiscences, I become enshrouded in grief. Grief for those I will never see again and for that which will never be again. Yet, joy and peace that it was — and how wonderful heart spurs cause an avalanche of gratefullness.

We all deal with these tender remembrances that seize our breath and that expose our hearts to the point it explodes out of our eyes. They come like a winter snowstorm and all you can do is embrace it and breathe. You breathe through the grief and pain of that husband or mother or father or child that will never enjoy this season with you again. With each Christmas card that shadows your mailbox, the gaping fissure of loss darkens it too as you are painfully aware of the card you will not receive this year. The walk back into the house takes longer than the walk to the mailbox and the cold of the snow and the crispness in the air cut you to the bone.

All of us, on some level, have experienced this grief in our souls over the years. However, that grief and that loss are not surprises that have not already been sifted through God’s sovereign hand. He sifted and allowed it because of His great love for us. For when such is sifted, whether it is joy or sadness, He has done so being acquainted with that which pierces our hearts.

“He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted.” Isaiah 53:3-4

My prayer for you this Christmas Season is that you will find peace in the Prince of Peace. That you would find Divine Comfort in the Comforter Himself. That your joy would overflow out of the storehouse of His love for you. Allow the heart spurs to move you to the Babe born in a manger and then nailed to the Cross out of His great love for you! I pray that you would allow Him to wash your crimson-stained sins as white as new-fallen snow.

“And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus. “He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.” Luke 1:31-33

There are days, weeks, months, even years that our burdens seem multiplied. I have felt this way much lately. I know that I am not alone in my struggle with the day-to-day of living…surviving.

A couple of weeks ago I found a choir from South Africa singing Dr. John Moore’s hymn, “Burdens Are Lifted At Calvary” and was reminded ever so sweetly of the Burden Bearer. Honestly, I sat down (on my heart’s knees, if you will) and sobbed. I had become over-burdened because I had forgotten to take them to Calvary — to my Savior — I have been trying to bear them all in my own strength.

Why do we allow grief or sickness or other hardships to rest wholly on ourselves and not immediately take them to Jesus? I am not sure that I know the answer to that question. Is it a lack of faith, being strong-willed, or arrogance? I think for me it can sometimes be a combination of all three. I will go back to lack of faith, but first I will tackle my strong will and arrogance.

To be strong-willed is, to me, saying, “I can do this by myself and I do not need your help.” It can certainly mean other things…even more positive things, but not for me. I dig my feet into the ground and dare someone to try and move me. I recall doing that to my Daddy when I was a teenager. He was angry at me for disobeying him and instead of facing him, I ran away from him. I went to a friend’s house to “hide” from him, yet he knew exactly where to find me.

He came to her house and literally dragged me out with my arm twisted around me…like a criminal. I dug my feet into her lawn, sat my posterior flat on the ground, and screamed with every bit of defiance I could find in my five foot body, “I hate you!!” I can only imagine the hurt that brought to my Daddy’s heart. He loved me and I was doing all I could do to prove otherwise.

Sadly, I do that very same thing with the Lord Jesus. I dig my feet in and say, “I’m going to do this my way,” or “I don’t need your help,” shaking a proverbial fist at Him. However, that is not what Jesus said I should do…or how I should act. In John 15:4, He tells me that I cannot bear fruit unless I abide in Him. So, when I choose to do it my way and not His, I render myself fruitless for Him.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.” (John 15:4)

Arrogance, on my part, simply holds hands with my strong-willed-ness. It comes along side me and says, “You don’t have to!” My little Miniature Schnauzer, Maggie Mae, takes this attitude with my husband from time-to-time. He will tell her to do something and she comes over and sits by me and looks at him with a defiant, “I don’t have to.” How true that is of me too!! I stand with my fists by my side and refuse to do what God wants me to do. I don’t eat how I should be eating, I don’t care for my body (His Temple) as I should, and so many other ways of maintaining my health. Paul taught that it is wrong for me to have this attitude:

“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:19-21)

We don’t have to be ruled by our flesh, rather we are to put on the Lord Jesus and the fruits of that abiding are:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:22-25)

Then that brings me to my lack of faith. I worry and fret…I don’t turn to Him immediately…then Jesus’ own words convict me:

“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!” (Matthew 6:30)

Oh, how He knew that I would struggle in this area! Dr. John Moore penned this hymn after reading Pilgrim’s Progress. If you’ve not read it, I wholly recommend it. Dr. Moore understood the burdens we carry, and try to carry on our own. Jesus understood them far better than anyone ever could, as He bore the Cross of Calvary so that we would not have to.

While I have tried to tackle the sin issues we may have toward our responses to the day-to-day trials and burdens, whatever they be, I want to leave you with the knowledge that you can carry each burden and each sin to Calvary. Maybe you’ve never met the Savior at the foot of that old Cross, please don’t let today go by without repenting of your sins and believing on He who died to save you. There is always room there for those seeking and those offering up fresh burdens, whether you’ve been there before or not and to the Glory of God.

Burdens are lifted at Calvary
Days are filled with sorrow and care,
Hearts are lonely and drear;
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

Refrain:
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Calvary, Calvary;
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

Cast your care on Jesus today,
Leave your worry and fear;
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,
Jesus is very near.

Troubled soul, the Saviour can see
Ev’ry heartache and tear;
Burdens are lifted at Calvary,

“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16)

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:5-7)

Psalm 136 proclaims that God’s lovingkindness is everlasting verse-after-verse for twenty-six verses. As I read each verse I became overwhelmed with His goodness and everlasting lovingkindness because I know it all to be true in my own life. Though, when you read some of the verses you are tempted to think, “Why does that prove His lovingkindness is everlasting?”

Surely, Lord, suffering does not prove Your lovingkindness is everlasting…does it? Did He answer me??? Yes, He did — quite profoundly through this Psalm. And, as I looked back over my life and recount the joys and the sorrows, I see Him. Why, is it easier to see Him in the joys? But, what about our sorrows and our sufferings?? Well, we needn’t look harder, just more deliberately.

Throughout 70 hospitalizations, I can see His footsteps, His love, and yes, His lovingkindness. I can see how He sent people to care for me and for my family whilst I was there…sometimes for a month at a time. One of my fondest memories is of my son…only three years old sitting on the floor in my hospital room playing with his Hot Wheels. The nurses would come in and say they are going on break and could they take him down to the cafeteria with them and buy him an ice cream. His lovingkindness is everlasting. Another fond memory is when my son was around nine-years old and it was Resurrection Sunday…but here I lay in the hospital again. Our chaplain friend, Mark, came up to visit me and we shared that we were disappointed to be here on this particular Sunday because it would have been our son’s first time partaking in the Lord’s Supper. He said that he would be back and he went down to his office and came back with the elements so that our little family could celebrate our son’s first communion. It was such a sweet time to spend it, and with our friend, Mark. His lovingkindness is everlasting.

We are adept at celebrating joy and praising Him for those joyful moments, but how do we become more inclined to celebrate suffering or sorrow? Dr. Helen Roseaver, a missionary to Africa, who suffered greatly for Christ said in her book, “A Living Sacrifice“, “Steward well the suffering He has given us.” The apostle Peter said, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

I honestly have never thought much about “stewarding well my suffering.” Yet, I see clearly that it is a fellowship with Christ’s suffering. What a privilege that God would so entrust me with pain, sorrow, and suffering. So, I think in order to steward it well, we must rejoice in it…and keep on rejoicing, as Peter said. To steward it well is to be an image-bearer of Christ Jesus. In doing this, in trusting Him, our burden grows lighter…we are better able to bear-up under it…easily, then, stewarded for His glory. His lovingkindness is everlasting.

(Psalms 136:1)  Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:2)  Give thanks to the God of gods, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:3)  Give thanks to the Lord of lords, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:4)  To Him who alone does great wonders, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:5)  To Him who made the heavens with skill, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:6)  To Him who spread out the earth above the waters, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:7)  To Him who made the great lights, For His lovingkindness is everlasting:
(Psalms 136:8)  The sun to rule by day, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:9)  The moon and stars to rule by night, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:10)  To Him who smote the Egyptians in their firstborn, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:11)  And brought Israel out from their midst, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:12)  With a strong hand and an outstretched arm, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:13)  To Him who divided the Red Sea asunder, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:14)  And made Israel pass through the midst of it, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:15)  But He overthrew Pharaoh and his army in the Red Sea, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:16)  To Him who led His people through the wilderness, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:17)  To Him who smote great kings, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:18)  And slew mighty kings, For His lovingkindness is everlasting:
(Psalms 136:19)  Sihon, king of the Amorites, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:20)  And Og, king of Bashan, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:21)  And gave their land as a heritage, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:22)  Even a heritage to Israel His servant, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:23)  Who remembered us in our low estate, For His lovingkindness is everlasting,
(Psalms 136:24)  And has rescued us from our adversaries, For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
(Psalms 136:25)  Who gives food to all flesh, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
(Psalms 136:26)  Give thanks to the God of heaven, For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

“As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. “We must work the works of Him who sent Me as long as it is day; night is coming when no one can work. “While I am in the world, I am the Light of the world.” When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes, and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which is translated, Sent). So he went away and washed, and came back seeing.” (John 9:1-7)

We have all experienced some type of pain during our lives. It’s really a part of the human experience and it manifests in many different ways and throughout the entirety of our lives. Often our broken-ness and pain build…blocks that are stacked one upon the other. There really is no true way to immune ourselves from it.

When I was studying the above Scripture, I noticed several things that took place in the account of the Blind Man mentioned in John 9. There is much we can glean from this man and how it relates to each of us.

The Illness

What we know from John’s account of the man is that he had been blind since birth. His pain was lifelong…he never knew anything different from it. Not only could he not see, but I can imagine his lack of sight caused many other afflictions for him. He probably stumbled and/or fell many times throughout his life and some of those falls would have caused wounds…bruises…pain.

However, with the physical assaults throughout his life, I am certain he most likely suffered verbal assaults and jeers. He may have faced social ostracization and accusation — thus, the shame that is born from being set aside, ridiculed, and laughed at by others. Even the disciples asked Jesus, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Perhaps it was the “whispered” accusation among many that it must have been his own fault or that of his parents.

The Why

I love Jesus’ answer to his disciples, when they asked who’s fault it was that this man was blind. He responds by saying, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” vs. 3

Jesus knew this man before they happened upon him. Unbeknownst to the disciples, and as He always does, Jesus had gone before them to meet them at their question. The answer wasn’t a simple “neither sinned,” it was to demonstrate the works of God through this man.

Our pain is not for naught! It wasn’t for this blind man and it isn’t for us either. God is at work through the pain, and for His glory. Jesus did not coincidentally “pass by” the blind man…He never does anything out of coincidence…there was a purpose…the blind man was sought by Christ, as are we.

“For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” (Luke 19:10)

The Healing

Oh, yes…the healing! I think Jesus could have just spoke and this man would have been healed…there is no doubt about it! However, and instead, Jesus spat upon the ground and made clay from the earth…the same clay He used in the Beginning to fashion Adam in His own likeness…then He applied that clay to the man’s eyes, and then sent Him to the Pool of Siloam to wash. When he had washed, he began to see!

“Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7)

The Knowing and The Telling

This man could not only see things he had never seen before, but he now knew things he had never known before. His seeing begat faith! More than anyone breathing at that very moment, this man had a life-changing encounter with the Savior! Jesus pulled him up out of the pit of blindness and despair and set him on a sure foundation…a Foundation that is the Cornerstone!

The new man went and testified of the Lord’s healing of him…He proclaimed that Jesus IS!

But, what about you? What about your suffering that has not ended though you know this same Jesus? Why has He not healed you the way He healed this blind man? I do not know the answer to your question. Your question, my question, has been asked the ages through. Why does God allow suffering? The wisest theologians cannot answer it and I will not attempt it either.

What I do know is this, and it is my experience, that He works through our suffering. Jesus answered our question best, and with the knowledge only God could have,

“…but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3)

We are here to be used of by God and for His glory only. In the midst of our suffering, we must seek to only serve Him and to glorify Him. The only problem with pain and suffering is how we allow God to use us. Pain can make me bitter, if I choose, or it can make me useful…which is often the harder choice. However, regardless of the difficulty in choosing to be useful, it is always for our best and for His glory.

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:26-28) (Emphasis mine.)

Our greatest problem, our deepest pain, our relentless sickness can all be used for His glory. While we might not be healed as the blind man was during our sojourn in these mortal bodies, we know that there is an ultimate healing in eternity with Him.

 For believers, death is the ultimate healing because it takes the believer out of this sin-ridden world and deposits him in the next where there is no sin. “The last enemy that will be abolished is death.”
(1 Corinthians 15:26) Jesus saved us from the second death (the first one being physical), as Paul teaches,

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

Therefore, let us live for Him regardless of our pain, and when we die our physical death, let us be raised to newness of Life, knowing that our bodies will never again die or decay!

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)

Soli Deo Gloria

When I was a teenager and young adult, and a babe in Christ, I continuously doubted my salvation. I truly understood Christ’s ability to save me…I understood the gift of His mercy and grace…I understood well that His blood could cover all of my sins…yet, it seemed every other Sunday I was back at the alter weeping out of fear that Christ had not saved me thoroughly or that I had somehow lost my salvation. My heart and mind were a complete mess.

As I continued in this effort to “get saved again,” each Sunday, my pain and doubt kept cementing that I was not saved at all…thus…I was at the alter again. However, one night I was talking to a lady I knew from work who was also a Christ-Follower and she shared two verses from God’s Word that had a changing impact on me. She said, “Tammi — I have no doubt that you are saved because you are broken over your sin. You have been continually taking your sin to Him. Sweet girl, God loves your brokenness over sin and that you are inclined to bring it to Him often. He will not turn you away for that or mock you or even despise you…He loves you. When you think you’ve lost your salvation, you are feeling the Lord’s discipline on you.”

She then opened the Bible and showed me from Psalm 51:17 where David says to the Lord, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.”

This verse comes out of prayer after Nathan had confronted David because of the sin he committed against God with Bathsheba. David was broken over his sin against God…if you read the entirety of the Psalm, you can feel that brokenness of spirit. I find myself particularly drawn to verses 11 and 12,

“Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.” (Psalms 51:11-12)

In those two verses, I understood David’s heart — not only had his sin broken him, but he was begging God to not throw him away because of it. He felt the pain that there could be should he no longer be in the presence of God. His brokenness brought him to the alter of contrition and repentance. But, it is important to understand that David did not get there own his own. None of us can…because when you come to that alter, God has been convicting you and discipling you so that you are brought there wholly.

Proverbs 3:12 says, “My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD Or loathe His reproof, For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”

When we abide in Christ and long to do God’s will, He, like a father, will chastise us and discipline us for our sins. Paul gives us a stern warning about God’s discipline, “It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.” Hebrews 12:7-8 (Emphasis mine)

My heart cries out from that verse, “Lord, please chastise me and discipline me when I have sinned against you. Don’t delay, Father, please don’t delay.”

And so, I come often to that alter of contrition — I drop there in deep sorrow over my sin. Honestly, contrition or contriteness is a word we don’t often here from people — so I researched it to find out where such a word comes from and I was astounded. It comes from the Latin word, “Contritus,” which literally means “to ground to pieces.” Oh, yes, Lord, I’ve been ground to pieces —

Does your sin ground you to pieces on His alter? If it is not, I pray that you will allow Him to discipline you as a son or daughter. Let Him love you so thoroughly that you lie before Him prostrate and broken…ground to pieces and then allow that precious Blood to wash you clean — whiter than snow. Beg Him, as David did in Psalm 51:2, “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin.” “Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.” (Psalms 51:7-8)

He will — that is a promise with certainty!

Soli Deo Gloria

As many women do, I struggle with many things. Sometimes the thoughts that satanic spirits would put into my head about myself can consume me. Am I pretty enough, am I smart enough, am I skinny enough, am I funny enough, am I liked enough, am I a good mother, am I a good wife, and the list gets longer and longer the more I dwell on it. I have spent most of my life striving for people to like me…or to even like myself.

These years have kept me in bondage to satan on different levels through eating disorders, self-harm, even promiscuousness as a young adult, as I searched for some man to love me and take me away from it all, like Prince Charming took Cinderella away from the awfulness of her life. But, I tell you that none of the things I have done to harm myself ever took me away from anything. They only added more misery to my life. For that was always satan’s plan — to keep me in misery.

However, there is a new lie that satan is peddling to women and that lie is that “I am enough.” Though, it seems like it could be a good and true statement off of the cuff, is it really? I am going to explore why I believe it is false and why we need to reject it.

First, let’s explore the lie, “I am enough.” Those three words are supposed to empower women to believe that looks, smarts, body image, and all of the other things that women feel that make them less valued are false, to be rejected, that they can then know and believe that they are enough…even more than enough. Further, satan tries to validate it with Scripture found in Psalm 139 to say, then, that a woman is to tell herself, “I am enough.” If you will recall, satan used Scripture to tempt Jesus in Matthew 4:1-11, and it is a practice satan employs often. So, some have put this thought into women’s minds that it is settled because “Scripture says so.” But, does it?

As I have searched the Scriptures and prayed on it and dwelt on it, I surmise that I am not enough. But, why am I not enough?

1. God’s Word tells me that I am a sinner and that I am utterly unrighteous.

“What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE; THERE IS NONE WHO UNDERSTANDS, THERE IS NONE WHO SEEKS FOR GOD; ALL HAVE TURNED ASIDE, TOGETHER THEY HAVE BECOME USELESS; THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD, THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE.” (Romans 3:9-12)

Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

2. God’s Word tells me that there is only one remedy for sin and that is Christ Jesus.

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.”
(1 John 2:1-2)

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

3. God’s Word tell me that if I repent and believe on the Lord Jesus, I will be saved.

“But what does it say? “THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART”—that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED.” (Romans 10:8-13)

Precious friend, Psalm 139 is true, we were knitted in secret in our mothers’ womb by God. But, because of Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden, sin was passed along and we became sinners.

“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.” (Psalms 139:13-16)

“Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned—” (Romans 5:12)

My friend, I say all of this to bring you Hope not discouragement. There is Hope that while we are not enough in ourselves, Christ became all that is sin, for us…He and only He is enough.

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”
(2 Corinthians 5:20-21, Emphasis mine)

Do not believe the lies of satan…they are subtle and are meant to harm you with the worse kind of harm and that is eternity in hell being tormented. You are very precious in the LORD’S sight and that is why He sent His only begotten Son to take our sins upon Himself and to die for us…that we might live…eternally…with Him. While I’ll never be enough on this earth in all of its darkness, Christ is enough for me and I am so thankful to be grafted into that True Vine. Jesus reminded us of our value to God,

“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)

Pray that you will see the value God has placed on you and not the lies of satan. If you have not repented of your sins and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, please do it now. We are not promised tomorrow.

“And working together with Him, we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain— for He says, “AT THE ACCEPTABLE TIME I LISTENED TO YOU, AND ON THE DAY OF SALVATION I HELPED YOU.” Behold, now is “THE ACCEPTABLE TIME,” behold, now is “THE DAY OF SALVATION”—” (2 Corinthians 6:1-2)

Soli Deo Gloria