Twenty-One Junes and No Refunds

It is difficult to wrap my head around twenty-one Junes!  Twenty-one Februarys ago he said, “I’m starting to think of you as more than a friend!”    Twenty-one Marches ago, over a long distance telephone call, and still having not met face-to-face, he POPS the big question, “Will you marry me?”

We stood before the Clerk of the Court in Orange County, Florida twenty-one Junes ago and committed our lives to one another!  I said, “I will!”  I was frightened and far away from home, standing in front of a Clerk I had never met, telling this man that I would be his for life.

Dave and Tam before Clerk

“No refunds!”  We didn’t even realize that sign was there until we got our photographs back from our friend who was there to memorialize this day in our life.  Looking back, I don’t think it would have changed our minds or hearts.  I have learned one thing for certain, you cannot refund twenty-one Junes!

In those twenty-one years there has been the birth of a son and the death of parents and grandparents.  We’ve moved three times, bought a house, and our son is now a high school graduate.  We’ve buried cats, dogs, and fish!  There have been hospital floors paced and grieved hearts.  I can still hear the echoes from basketball games, Cub Scout meetings, and birthday parties.

You cannot refund Christmas Trees and Christmas morning happiness, as colorful paper lays scattered on the floor or Turkeys cooking in the oven and permeating the house with simple love.  How can you possibly refund eyelash kisses, skinned knees, and new bicycles!  You cannot!

However, how do you limp through hurt feelings and thoughtless words — how does twenty-one years survive pain?  It is through covenant!  David and I stood before that Clerk — two Christ-Followers committing to a life time of  laughter, tears, love, hurt, and sometimes pain.

We had indeed, as Scripture declares, become one flesh!  He became mine and I became his…in covenant with God the Father!  We not only believed there could be no refunds, but we committed to no refunds…even when a refund seemed warranted.

Marriage is a commitment of work!  Some days love comes easily and others it is chosen and worked for — amidst heartache, financial struggles, death, and pain!  I chose, in covenant, to love my husband on days that I didn’t like him very much and he probably felt the same way — we still loved.

We are not the young man and young woman that fell in love twenty-one Junes ago…no, not at all.  We are grafted onto each others hearts — one thought and heart much of the time…and while our relationship has grown deeper and sweeter with each other, it has also matured in our fellowship with Christ.

Twenty-one Junes ago, I married the man who would make me laugh, make me angrier than I’ve ever been, make me cry and then dry my tears.  He has held my hand and steadied my thoughts…he balances me.  He is my best friend and my only lover!  We are one because twenty-one Junes ago we trusted the Lord and stepped out into a journey that would last a lifetime.

I never want a refund!  Happy twenty-first anniversary to the love of my life!

Dave and Tam at ballet



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