Author: tameasa

My thoughts on authenticity, legalism, liberty in Christ, and grace:

As we come off of the recent Halloween weekend, I am bombarded by my thoughts one why? I am not asking, “Why does America observe and celebrate it?” though it does beg the question. I am asking why do followers of Christ observe, celebrate, and participate in it? Some of my thoughts have been “out loud” and I have been accused of being legalistic and judgmental. I understand the accusation, but I disagree with it and here is why.

The day I accepted Christ it was because I became acutely aware of my sin and Christ’s redemptive work for that sin. In that moment, I humbled myself before the Cross of Christ and begged His forgiveness and salvation. I have not once regretted that decision in 34 years. Jesus didn’t just save me to keep from the eternal flames of Hell, but to complete His perfect work in me, use me to bring glory and honor to Himself, and to keep me from being eternally separated from Him. With so great a salvation comes also a great responsibility and that is to become less like me and the world, become more like Jesus, and make disciples.

I believe an important part of reflecting Jesus is living authentically. This is something I am vulnerably aware of on a daily basis. When I encounter others, whether they are brothers and sisters in Christ or in need of this Jesus, I am unashamedly honest in who I am and Whose I am. I never (or at least try to never) pretend to be something or someone I am not. My flaws are disclosed openly and often with examination. While Jesus’ work started in me the day I turned from my sin, it continues in me daily. The truth is that it is hour-by-hour because there are many days that my flaws and struggles threaten to consume me and I am always fully reliant on Him. My hope is that if someone can see that life is hard and, though I follow Jesus, I am far from perfect and He is far from finished with me.

As I grow in Christ, my prayer is that each day of growth and sanctification takes me further from my sin and closer to His glory. This I have found to be the truest testing of my faith because honestly, as God reveals more of my sin in me and as I submit to His refining the world and most often other Believers accuse me of “legalism” or “judgmentalism” because I am turning from the sin that, as Scripture reveals, “so easily besets me.” (Hebrews 12:1)

For instance, my husband and I were convicted about 16 years ago regarding viewing of movies and certain television programs. At first we were convicted not to view or patron movies or television programs that blaspheme the Name of the Lord. As we weeded those out and became obedient to Christ in that area of our life, the Lord convicted us regarding profanity, nudity, and many other things that are also present in movies and programs. We felt the Lord telling us that,”If you would not participate in these sins in your own life, why do you find it acceptable to sit and watch them?” It was quite revealing to us and we felt that complete obedience meant we could no longer partake in this everyday activity that our friends and family participated in.

As we began declining invitations to the movies, we were immediately accused of being legalistic and in our perceived legalism, they felt judged. It is very discouraging to be accused by brothers and sisters in Christ when we are only “working out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12) and striving to be obedient in those things God was asking of us. God ultimately reminded us that we are only called to be obedient to Him, in ALL things, and not be conformed to the world. Which brings me to the reason I felt I needed to write this blog in the first place.

One of the things we have been convicted of is Halloween. Now this is a testy matter, too, like movies. There is one thing most Christians do not like and will wound other Christians on quicker than you can blink and that is taking away their “fun.”

We have never tried to make a big deal of not observing Halloween, we just quit observing it…simple. We did not make a big announcement, “Hear ye, hear ye, the Provencher family is no longer observing Halloween and they believe any Christian who does it from here on out is a sinner going straight to the pits of Hell.” No, that is not our style….just like with our conviction on movies. However, when asked about Halloween for example, “Are you passing out candy, will you come to our costume party, do you allow your son to go ‘trick or treating?'” the answer is honest and, “no.” Of course, then we are asked a litany of questions and then promptly accused, AGAIN, of being legalistic and naturally we are again judging them.

Then come the questions about our liberty in Christ, the mission field we are ignoring, and that we are supposed to be in the world, but not of it. So, if I may quickly address each of these:

Liberty in Christ

In Galatians 5:1, Paul said, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.”

Paul was not giving us permission to do whatever we want, he was speaking to being in a yoke of bondage to the law.  There were Jewish leaders trying to put on Gentiles the yoke of bondage to the Jewish laws.  Paul makes this clear in Galatians 2:4, “This matter arose because some false believers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves.”  Further, Paul warns us in Galatians 5:13, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”  Paul also gives us a stern warning in Romans 6:1, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”

Ignoring the Mission Field

The only thing I really think when I hear or read this statement is that other Believers are attempting to use emotional, guilt inducing, and unfair extortion on me.  We are all at different places in our walks with Christ and what I have been convicted of by Him is NOT your conviction.  James 4:17 says, “But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.”  For me to turn and do those things that a Holy God has specifically asked ME to stop doing would be willful disobedience and a sin.

For YOU to guilt me or attempt to extort me into turning back to sin is deplorable.

In the World But Not Of It

Honestly, this one is loaded.  What does that truly mean and where is that proverbial line that we should not cross?  I would answer it with Paul’s exhortation in Romans 12:1-3, “Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.”

How can I present myself, my body, as a living and HOLY sacrifice, acceptable to God if I am being willfully disobedient to those things He has called me from?  I vow that I cannot.  That same verse goes on to tell me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.  Renewing — a refreshing, a new learning, SANCTIFICATION —  that word means, “to make holy or to set apart.”

I want to be like Him — I want to be set apart.  For me that means obeying when He convicts me, trusting when He compels me, and leaning — not on my own understanding — but, acknowledging Him — then He promises to make my paths straight — and what did Jesus say about straight and narrow paths, “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”  Matthew 7:14

While we might have liberty to go to movies and participate in worldly festivities is it needful?  Do we, as Believers, have to be limited to the world’s idea of fun?  Are we being authentic and wise by doing these things?  How can we make true disciples of Christ and show them a need for the Savior, if we are just like them?

These are questions that each of us can only examine in our own hearts.  However, it is not legalistic or judgmental to serve Jesus, as He has called me.  Grace abounds the more, but even grace needs balance.

As she puttered in the garden
tending flowers and plucking weeds,
she noticed a trend occurring
like none she had never seen.

Her garden from ages ago
had bloomed with such pretty flowers
but of late they had faded
and scorched in the Florida sun.

She tried grafting in new flowers
to those that had withered and threatened to die.
Yet none of the grafts had taken
and she about had given up and died.

Then God in His infinite mercy
stooped down and planted anew
a flower like none ever seen
with petals of brilliant hue.

Oh, how she loved this new flower
and tended with love and care.
But she feared that it too would wither
and leave an emptiness there.

He whispered, “My child, won’t you trust me
with this flower so new and so rare?
I have given it with great expectation,
won’t you let me graft it there?”

As He pointed to my heart, I trembled
because grafting is painful and sore.
It desperately leaves you vulnerable
and asks of you so much more.

Though fear overtook my heart,
I knew I wanted it so
and I opened my heart with trepidation
and allowed Him to do His work.

At first the grafting was weak
but as days grew into weeks and more
a flower burst forth in great beauty
promising friendship that would last and grow.

Now summer has faded into fall
and the grafting, oh how sweet the love
that friendship has grown and bloomed
and my heart is content with His gift from above.

Some days I just don’t have the courage, faith, stick-to-it-tiveness, strength, or will to go on…today, I don’t….

….but, I have to.  Why?

JESUS

Psalm 27:13-14

Today, June 26, 2015, I watched everything I was ever taught in my grade school history classes, high school civic and government classes, and college law classes crumble before my very eyes.  It is a death — a death of democracy, a death of religious freedom, and the death of The United States Constitution.

Today, a group of nine unelected men and women, who are supposed to remain bipartisan and fair, legislated from their judicial bench.  Rather than scroll out The United States Constitution and make a ruling concurrent with that constitution, your ruling clearly shows your bias and agenda.  In your ignorance of The United States Constitution and arrogance to The American People, you have effectively told over 50 million voters that their opinion does not matter and that their votes do not count.

Further, and more importantly, you shook your collective fists at an Almighty, Holy God and said, “Your laws are ancient, irrelevant, and hateful.”  God has emphatically stated in His Word that homosexuality is an abomination and they that practice it will have their place in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone.  (See Romans, Chapter 1, Holy Bible) Your decision has called God a liar.

Do not be fooled, God will not be mocked.  He will judge this nation according to your decision and its celebration of it.  May God have mercy on us all.

I wanted to share one more thought about my Daddy before I head to bed for the night.

I have so many fond and cherished memories of my Daddy and the goodness he brought to my life.  There were so many times that I failed him — that I thought I had lost favor in his eyes – I know there were many, many times that I disappointed him and let him down.  However, there is one time in particular that I recall the most.

It was the summer I turned 17 years old, 1983, and this was the summer before my Senior year in high school.  It seems that from the age of 13 and up until that summer (and way past it too, if I were to be honest) nothing seemed to fair well with me.  I drudged through one crisis after another and my Momma and Daddy probably felt that I would not survive to adulthood — either because I killed myself or they killed me, LOL.

I can’t remember the circumstances that led up to this afternoon, but I remember well the consequences of those circumstances.  I had once again failed to meet some expectation, and always being harder on myself than anyone else could ever be (this is something that still rings true for me even now), I anticipated the fallout with my Momma and Daddy.

In that anticipation, I decided to “fix” it in my own blundering way and — RUN AWAY!  My goodness, can you think of any way to only escalate a problem more than running away from it??  To ease your mind just a bit, let me assure you that I didn’t run so awful far away — I ran to the other side of the lake to my “second” Momma’s house, Christie Nielsen​!  Not only did I just run away — I employed my youth pastor’s son, Jerry, to transport me there.

My Daddy, being the wise and most able policeman that he was, knew exactly where to find me.  Did he wait for me to come home on my own??  Of course not!  He decided it was time to teach me some police “brutality” and came to fetch me right home.  He barged into Christie’s house, twisted my right arm up behind my back (like a common criminal) and started hauling me out of her house.  I dug my feet in for all it was worth — I cried — I screamed — and then I said those three words that I could NEVER recall:  “I hate you!”

I fell to the ground — out of hard-headedness, out of anger — but mostly out of shock — I had let roll out of my mouth words that would forever sting — hurt — pain…not just my Daddy, but me, as well.  For at that tender age of 17, I had not yet learned Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  My Daddy had not learned it either.

Proverbs 12:18, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” was far from my mind and Daddy’s.

What we had reached instead was an impasse — a gulf that would span for several more years — he frustrated and feeling defeated — and me more detached and willful.  I would not learn or understand the harshness and permanency of my words until much, much later in my life — I would not feel the full impact of them until May 1998 — although my Daddy felt them immediately.

My Daddy went home to be with Jesus in 1998 — but not without bridging that gulf between us one more time — while he had forgiven me many years before his death — while I had said a million “I’m sorrys” and ten million more “I love yous” — his words of healing and forgiveness touched me more profoundly 2 days before he died and this is the telling …

He had my Uncle Tommy call me from his ICU room that day.  Uncle said to me, “Tammi, your Daddy is here and he wants YOU to pray with him.”  He cradled that phone receiver up to my Daddy’s ear and Daddy said, “Baby, I’m going to die now.”  I said, “Daddy, I know and I will pray with you.”

I don’t remember that prayer — the words that I said — I only remember the unspoken words between a Daddy and his daughter — words that echo through eternity — words of sweet forgiveness — of the grace he had extended me oh so long ago.  At that moment, I not only saw and earthly Daddy, who had adopted me at age 4 and loved me as his own — but I saw him mirror that same love the Lord Jesus had for both of us — another adoption — a grafting into the True Vine.

You see — God used an earthly man — tall and lean, strong yet crippled with arthritis to show me a picture of Himself!

I am so thankful for Jim Shook — I’m thankful he fell in love with my sweet Momma — I’m thankful he found me worthy to be called his daughter — I’m thankful that I knew him — but most of all — I’m thankful for his humility and for humbling himself before the Cross of Calvary — what a beautiful picture — what a beautiful legacy of two fathers — an earthly one and a Heavenly one — bridging the gap for a lost little girl.

Who am I?  What makes me who I am?  How did my personality, dialect, mannerisms, and physical features become me?

I suppose I have thought about these questions from time-to-time throughout my years.  Today, however, I was faced with the question during a conversation with my son, Joshua.  I proposed to him that I am a potpourri — he asked, “What is that?”  I said, “Well, it is a mixture of things.”  Then, I thought, it is much more than a “mixture of things” it is a blend of exotic dried flowers that make a beautiful aroma — isn’t that exactly what we are?

How did the potpourri that is “Tameasa” become exotic and is she beautiful?  So, I began sifting through the flowers that were a part of who I am…

I would have to say the first — my mother — only sixteen years old when she became pregnant with me…delivering me at seventeen.  So young, she was, and so naive to the world’s ways.  Yet, she chose to carry me to term and give me life, when it might have been “easier” to abort me.  She struggled raising me, but I know that she gave me the best of all she could give me, including so many aunts and uncles that loved me.

Then there was my dear Grandma Keen — her skin so soft like rose petals and she always smelled of Oil of Olay.  I remember how she loved Jesus and wanted all of her children and grandchildren to love Him, too.  She taught me things that I don’t think about much…unless I’m doing them.  For instance, how to fold my napkin when I was finished eating, so the crumbs wouldn’t get on the floor and how to think of others and share with them all that you have.  She taught me how to cut paper dolls out of the JcPenny Catalog (because we couldn’t afford store bought paper dolls).  I would sit forever, on the floor, playing with my paper doll family…and oh, the many outfits that they had to wear.  My paper dolls were affluent.  She also taught me how to write a thank you note or a note of encouragement.  I remember on one occasion that she set me to that task, all on my own, to write a note of an encouragement to my Aunt Margaret (one of her younger sisters).  A couple of weeks after that, she received a call from Aunt Margaret wondering why I had mailed a “sympathy card!”  Oh, how I miss that beautiful flower I called Grandma!

Then there were Aunts — my goodness what a lot of wildflowers I had in them.  My Aunt Lorraine was always the most beautiful lady I had ever laid eyes on — lovely through and through.  She was elegant and graceful and seemed to have such strength — that of a Southern Magnolia.

Oh, and my Aunt Scarlett — who always peppered me with hugs and kisses and love like none ever known.  She had such a way of making you feel that you were the most important person in the world to her when you were with her.

I can’t forget my Aunt Deita — she was the “fun” aunt.  She always drove cool cars and did cool things.  She wore the latest, stylish clothes and demonstrated what a strong, single woman could do.  She also gave me my first taste of sea spray and introduced me to that magnificent Atlantic Ocean.

I cannot forget my sister, Rene!  She has loved me with an unconditional love that has shown me security.  We have laughed ourselves stupid together, cried together (especially when our Momma passed), and we’ve shared God’s love with one another.

These are just a few of the wildflowers that gave me my poise, my accent, my laughter and my joy.  Yes, I’m a potpourri of all these ladies in all the ways that cause a sweet fragrance…I’m so thankful to be a cut of these dried flowers and pray one day that, I too, will cause a sweet fragrance to those lives I have had the honor and joy of touching.