Who Is Married to the Proverbs 31 Woman?

23 years of marriage hands

Now that is an odd question, right?  Seriously, though, have you ever sat down and thought about who her husband is??  I never really have thought about him much — I always captured on her perfection and my imperfection — has that always been your takeaway too?

However, today I have taken the time to sit down and find out who this man is!  He must be Mr. Wonderful because his wife is amazing.  But, first, let us take a quick glance at her and then we can meet him.  So, meander over to Proverbs 31 with me — you know, the last chapter in Proverbs.  A bit of a sidebar here, I find it interesting that Solomon told us of her last.  I’m sure he contemplated it quite a bit — after all, he had many wives and concubines — but I digress…that is a lesson for another day.

From the onset in verse 10, we are told she is excellent and he cannot even measure her worth.  As I read it, I find a crack in my mirror already!

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. (Proverbs 31:10)

Next, we see that he trusts her. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12) His trust, however, has been earned because the rest of the chapter shows why he trusts her.  You can read about all of her excellent ways in the remainder of the chapter, verses 12 through 31.

Well, that brings us to this mystery husband…who is this man?  Down in verse 23, we are told that he is known “in the gates.”  He also sits among the elders!  Certainly, her husband is well respected.

Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
(Proverbs 31:23)

He supports his wife, and rightly so, as she does her work diligently, loyally, and lovingly.  Because of her hard work and thriftiness, she shows her community what an excellent man her husband is — after all, I think it would be very difficult for me to work so hard if he were abusive.  Not once in Proverbs are we told that she minds doing all that she does.  She does it because she loves this man God has given her and he loves her as God would have him to.  I remember when my Grandparents were in their 90s and Papaw would come in to sit at the kitchen table to share a meal…he would sit down and Mammaw would look up and he’d say, “How you?” and smile.  She would sweetly smile back and say, “Fine, how you?”  Through the 70 plus decades of loving each other, respect and love still thrived.  I smile thinking that they may have been Mr. and Mrs. Proverbs 31.

I am blessed to have one of these “mystery husbands” too.  We, women, strive to be that efficient wife whom our husbands love and respect.  But, to have these types of husbands, they must first have a close relationship with our Savior.  I like to call my husband an, “Ephesians 5 Husband.”  He is!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:25-27) [Emphasis mine.]

Mrs. Proverbs 31 is married to a man who understands how to love her and appreciate her.  He loves her as Christ loves the church and she honors him in the same fashion.  Paul makes it so very clear…

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

It is important, dear ones, that we keep Christ at the center of our marriage.  He must be Lord over all we do as man and wife.  When we do, and when the rocky, hard times come, our Anchor is sure!

Lastly, I cannot end this blog and not touch on these two other matters that are blaring red lights.  I know that there are many women (and men) in marriages where only one has surrendered their life to Christ Jesus.  I have several friends who are living this reality daily.  I encourage you, wives (and husbands), if this is your marriage, there is HOPE.  Peter encouraged wives of unbelieving husbands.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. (1 Peter 3:1-2)

Pray for your unbelieving spouse — take him/her daily and boldly before the throne of God.  Plead for his/her salvation.

If you are in an abusive relationship, reach out to your Pastor or a sister in Christ that you trust.  There is help available.  Also, young, single women (and men), be certain that the person you’ve chosen to marry is a Christ-Follower…that he/she is born-again in Christ.  This is not only important for a good marriage, but it is commanded.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Marriage is a wonderful gift from the Lord…it is work and sometimes things don’t always run smoothly in a “good” marriage.  However, the joy that a family-centered in Christ brings is worth it all.





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