There are times that I simply get in the way of God’s work…it is true. The Holy Spirit lays on my heart a work that God wants to accomplish and rather than realizing my role as His tool, I try to affect the work in my own humanness and striving. Then in His mercy and love, the Lord chastises me to remind me of my purpose.
This all became more evident to me today, as the chastening rod came across my heart. I have been diligently working on a very important project…necessary Kingdom work towards the saving of not only lives but souls. So, this morning as I was making calls and purposing to get the matter all settled today, I hit a brick wall. Not any brick wall, but the same one I have been hitting day, after day, after day!
Honestly, hitting the same brick wall continuously starts to hurt! And, feeling battered and bruised from the perpetual beating did not bode very well with my spirit. I became angry and confused. I was really mad!!!
Well, I don’t know that getting mad was very effectual for me. In fact, it was just the opposite of effectual — it was quite ineffectual. After stewing for a few minutes in my pride and sin, the Lord came over me with His righteous discipline. Oh, if you could have heard the conversation!
“Tam — why are you so mad?” He said to me. “Are you trying to get lauded with praise because you did a mighty work?” “Did you take on this for Me or for you, Tam??” His questions made my cheeks hot with shame, and I knew that I had sinned against Him. I realized that I forgot that I am His tool to perform His work and in His time.
In 1 Corinthians 3:4 through 7, Paul addresses this very problem with the Corinthians.
For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not mere men? What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. (Emphasis mine).
I had forgotten my function and my purpose. I, quite pridefully, had put myself as the head and in turn, left the sovereign work of God completely out of the equation. Truly He is the master builder and I am His tool to be used at His will…not my own.
I repented and asked His forgiveness and I am thankful and grateful that He arighted me quickly!! Even more, that I allow Him to chastise me from time-to-time, as needed for His glory! We are reminded in Proverbs, that we are to not reject that reproof or chastisement from Him. His correction and discipline are demonstrations of His love toward us.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD Or loathe His reproof, For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
I will continue to work on this project that the Lord has graciously given me to do, but with added humility and understanding that I am only an instrument of His will and for His glory. Should I ever forget who I am, Who He is — should I ever become so full of myself that I am no longer of use to the furtherance of the Gospel, I pray that He will take me Home. My purpose is to only serve Him, and that is for what I was redeemed to do!
Soli Deo Gloria!